General Surgery used to be hotter, but ever since losing their territory faster than the British Empire, not so much. As the developers and publishers of this Hot/Crazy Scale Test, which allows you to screen yourself for your levels of hot and crazy according to the popular internet theory, we have striven to make this test as reliable and valid as possible by subjecting it to statistical controls and validation. Radiology is the medical equivalent of 7 minutes in heaven with people who prefer to stay in their own corner of the closet the whole time. ID, GI and Pathology are as unhot as you get, nothing about infections, poop and dead people/dead parts of live people is hot. Its almost like they dye their hair with whatever combination of fluids ends up in that creepy little bag at the end of the bed they have. The hottest specialties are clearly Ortho (biceps), Neurosurgery (brains), and plastic surgery (all the other hot parts) with progressively increasing levels of crazy with Plastic surgeons only being out-crazied by OB/Gyn who will literally have a new hair color every delivery. Even psychiatry is hotter than ER because at least they have regular work hours. ER doctors are only slightly less crazy and slightly hotter than their patients. If a girl is super hot but super crazy most guys wont want to be with that. Its not super hot, no one says “oh man, you’re an ER doctor, that’s hot” at least no one I know. Being hot only goes so far in a relationship. ER is for crazy people, we all know this. The Hot-Crazy Matrix of Women (posted unironically as a useful guide) from NotHowGirlsWork The quiz version going around is a gender-neutral option that removes the slur and suggestion that a person’s hotness is correlated with their craziness, but other aspects of the matrix remain. They straddle the hot crazy axis about as low as you go. Nephrology is about as un-hot as a specialty gets, but its also not real crazy, Nephrologist parties are lame. Let’s talk about a couple sample specialties. The Official Hot Crazy Matrix of Medicine Your goal if you’re a normal sane person, is to pick a specialty below the hot crazy line, that is a specialty that’s at least as hot as it is crazy. In the middle is your hot crazy line right here, very important that you keep in mind where the hot crazy line is. No one less than a 4 crazy agrees to spend most of college actually studying followed by 4 years busting their asses to get through med school. Crazy is measured from 4 to 10, because of course there’s no such thing as a physician who is not at least a 4 crazy. You have your crazy axis, and your hot axis. I’ve developed this on my own over 13 years in medicine. It’s everything a young medical student needs to know about picking the specialty that matches their own desire for hotness balanced against their own tolerance of craziness. To find your Crazy rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. BOSTON, MA – Okay, so this is the Universal Hot Crazy Matrix of Medical Specialties.
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